Part 1: Sure-Fire Ways to Douse the Passion in Your Marriage

Comparing Apples to Oranges

2 Corinthians 10:11-13
¹¹Let such an one think this, that, such as we are in word by letters when we are absent, such will we be also in deed when we are present.
¹²For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.
¹³But we will not boast of things without our measure, but according to the measure of the rule which God hath distributed to us, a measure to reach even unto you.

What if your husband frequently compared you to other women and complained about how you’re not as pretty or witty as those wives? Would you be offended? You bet.

So imagine how he feels when he gets compared to other men and never seems to measure up. Consider these comments, and ask yourself if you have ever expressed such sentiments:

• “Her husband still sends her cards and flowers and takes her out on dates. How come you don’t do that for me any more?”

• “Sometimes I wish my dad were here to deal with all these house repairs. He would have had that fixed yesterday!”

• “It makes me feel special when my male co-workers talk to me and ask how my day is going. Why can’t you show more interest?”

• “You can tell he really loves his wife—he takes such great care of their yard without her having to say anything. How do you think our yard makes me feel?”

Comparisons like these will extinguish his flame quickly. It’s as if his wife is saying, “You’re not good enough for me.” [ohh, that's gonna be hurt!] But you’ll find that, while comparing doesn’t get you very far, the art of contentment works miracles. Rather than trying to goad him into becoming more like Mr. So-and-So, you’ll find that the key to contentment is expressing sincere gratitude for what you do have in your husband. Just ask any guy whose wife makes the effort to communicate appreciation for his efforts, and he’ll likely tell you he’s one happy man. And contentment can be contagious within a family.